Empire Day

This is my maternal grandmother on Empire Day in 1914.  She was representing New Zealand at Arley school.  She doesn't look too pleased about it.  Her name was Laura Braine; we called her Nan-Nan.  She passed away over 20 years ago at the grand age of 87.

My Nan-Nan had dementia for the last 10 years of her life.  Back then the approach to dementia and care for the frail elderly was very different.

I was the first in the family to realise something wasn't right.  As my parents were running their own business, my Nan-Nan looked after me a lot growing up in our home in Old Arley village, Warwickshire.  It was the little things I started to notice.  She would try to take her pills again when she had already taken them.  She would prepare a main meal for breakfast.  She was convinced spiders were coming out of the lights in the ceiling.  I knew then at age 8, I needed to tell someone that Nan-Nan might be poorly.

She was placed in hospital care for a long time and I know she was given electric shock treatment.  It was distressing and bewildering for us and especially for her.  She was eventually placed in a care home where the dementia gradually took over.

The Empire Day photo surfaced when a local doctor and village historian came across it and wanted to include it in a book but he knew nothing about the story behind the photo.  We showed it to Nan-Nan on one of her visits home to us but there was no recollection or recognition.  Hours later, and suddenly in the middle of dinner, she came out with all the details of Empire Day.  A moment of lucidity that stopped us in our tracks - in fact we all burst in to tears.  She excitedly told us all about it as though it had happened yesterday.  The doctor got the details he needed and we had a rare glimpse of the Nan-Nan we knew and loved.

I am so impressed with how services and care for people with dementia is improving today.  The use of technology, memory aids, memory streets, the use of music, the design of specialist housing etc.  There is so much more focus on dignity and on individual care.  I know it's not perfect but it is progressing.

This has all been on my mind recently.  The other day, I was in a hurry and queuing in a shop.  It was taking forever due to an older lady struggling to find the right coins at the check-out.  Everyone was being impatient, including me, to my shame. There was huffing, sighing and lots of rolling of eyes.  The lady didn't have enough money.  The check-out assistant was getting cross.  He was about to call security.  The lady was upset.  And then I suddenly recognised the situation for what it was - I saw my Nan-Nan.  In the end I paid for the lady's shopping and made sure she got home safely.  

I realised what was happening in that situation following the recent campaign by the Alzheimer's Society for Dementia Friends Champions in communities.  I have decided to commit to going on the training this year to become a dementia friend champion - if you're interested you can find out about it here: http://www.dementiafriends.org.uk/

And/or we can all just be more patient, more helpful and kind and more understanding towards older people who might be struggling with everyday things.

Nan-Nan loved jelly sweets and fish 'n' chips.  She lived on Jacob's Cream Crackers and real butter.  Nothing was better than a new handbag with a matching frock.  She had a crush on Val Doonican and religiously watched the game show 321 with Ted Rodgers and Dusty Bin.

She was the reluctant and grumpy star of Empire Day 1914 and she was a real person, like you and me.